


If Wishes Were Fishes

by zimriya



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Animal Transformation, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, I'm not sorry, M/M, changmin is a trutle, dicks do go places but it's not really explicit so shrug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:10:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7061947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimriya/pseuds/zimriya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho thinks to himself, <i>Changminnie is such a baby kitten</i>, and then, quite suddenly, Changminnie is actually a baby kitten. He seems to have defaulted back to his natural hair color--which is a little worrying because what if they have to re-dye it once he’s human again--but he’s also definitely a <i>kitten</i>, because most of his back fits in both of Yunho’s hands. </p><p>“Oh my God,” says Yunho. “Changmin you’re a cat.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Wishes Were Fishes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [easterlystars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/easterlystars/gifts).



> ONCE AGAIN THIS WOULD NOT EXIST IF IT WAS NOT FOR SCAR easterlystars, who responded to my ‘but I’ve already written a fic where I turned someone into a cat--and before that a dog,’ with ‘TURN HIM INTO ALL THE ANIMALS.’
> 
> Betaed by Vic as always she is the best. Her tiny son features in this fic. All other mistakes are my own assume translation GO FORTH.

**If Wishes Were Fishes**

\--

**April 2014**

\--

The first time it happens, Yunho doesn’t make the connection. It’s part of his routine at this point--waking up, stretching, sprawling across Changmin in an attempt to reach his phone and also to prove that he’s still the only person who’s allowed to get away with that, and then sorting through fangifts. Well, he doesn’t always sort through the gifts, since they’re not always home, but yesterday Jaewon-hyung had dropped off a bunch of letters and handwrapped presents, and they’d been the first thing Yunho’d seen once he was done smothering his other half.

There’s a whole pile of them and they all look daunting, but Changmin hadn’t done more than grumble lazily into the pillow when Yunho pressed him into the bed, so Yunho untangles himself and heads over to grab the easiest looking gift. It’s about palm sized and tied with a pretty blue ribbon, and Yunho tugs the card off to read.

But then Changmin finally acts alive, yawning and stretching in an unfairly adorable fashion, and Yunho drops the card in favor of getting his hands on all that bare skin.

It’s clear that Changmin isn’t ready to be awake yet because there’s little to no pause before he arches ever so slightly into Yunho’s fingers. He’s just so...  _fluffy_ \--with sleep, tangled bedhead and the tiniest of smiles quirking around the corner of his lips.

Yunho thinks to himself, _Changminnie is such a baby kitten_ , and then, quite suddenly, Changminnie is _actually_ a baby kitten. He seems to have defaulted back to his natural hair color--which is a little worrying because what if they have to re-dye it once he’s human again--but he’s also definitely a _kitten_ , because most of his back fits in both of Yunho’s hands.

He’s got the pinkest little nose, whiskers, giant paws, and is, Yunho think to himself with growing panic, actually purring now.

The fangift drops out of Yunho’s hand and onto the floor.

\--

Several moments later Changmin is still purring, is still a baby cat, and Yunho is well on his way to having a nervous breakdown.

“Oh my God,” he says finally. “Changmin you’re a cat.”

Changmin stops purring instantly, cracking open an eye and narrowing it up at Yunho, and Yunho laughs to himself more than a little helplessly because he knows exactly what Changmin would be saying if Changmin wasn’t a cat.

He pets his hand down Changmin’s back a few times to appease him, which gets him to start purring again, but ultimately does nothing to make Yunho feel any less panicked.

“I’m serious. Changmin. You’re a cat,” Yunho says again, voice breaking in three places.

This time Changmin looks like he’d actually like to say something to that, and since he’s actually got real life claws now, Yunho takes one hurried step back.

Changmin opens his mouth, meows in a way that would be adorable if it weren’t fucking terrifying, and then sits down on his haunches abruptly. He shoots Yunho a look that is unmistakable, and the _Hyung. I’m a fucking_ cat _!_ is more than audible in the silence between them.

“I know,” says Yunho, and sits down on the floor, hard. The fangift from before has rolled almost under the bed, but Yunho can just barely touch it with his foot if he wants to. He doesn’t want to--he wants Changmin to not be a literal bundle of fur--but it’s something to do that isn’t crying or beating his head against the floor.

Before he can actually grab the thing, Yunho has a lapful of Changmin. And not in a sexy, wonderful way, but in an adorable, worrying way, because Changmin looks pissed about the fact that he’s in Yunho’s lap. He’s also kneading at Yunho’s stomach with his paws and he’s purring again, so Yunho abandons the present and pets him behind the ears. He thinks cats like that--Changmin, at least, seems to like that.

The purring rockets up three whole notches when Yunho scratches him at the base of his tail, but the claws come out moments after that because Changmin realizes he has a tail.

Yunho winces and delicately tugs Changmin free of his sleep shirt and lifts him up so he can stare into his eyes.

“Ow,” he says. “Changdol-ah.”

Changmin’s tail lashes back and forth in the air behind him, which seems to upset his balance, and his claws come out again frantically.

Yunho sets him down on his chest and sighs. “Changdol-ah,” he says again.

Changmin opens his mouth, meows, looks horrified, miserable, and then like he wants to cry.

Yunho thinks, _can cat’s even cry?_ , and smothers him in a hug.

It can’t be comfortable, and Changmin’s not a hug-loving person to begin with, but he doesn’t scratch up Yunho’s collarbones and starts purring again.

Several moments later, Yunho is still on the floor, still holding the love of his life who is now a damn kitten, but is slightly more put together.

“What the fuck?” he says finally.

Changmin makes an odd chirping noise that seems to be agreement, and nips at Yunho’s fingers when Yunho stops petting him.

“Changmin,” says Yunho. “You’re a cat.”

Changmin meows in a way that is so perfectly self deprecating that Yunho almost wants to laugh. He doesn’t, because he doesn’t want to lose a hand.

Three more strokes through Changmin’s fur later, and Yunho decides he should probably get off the floor. They’ve got an off day, so it’s not like there’s a countdown until their lives go to shit when the public realizes that one half of TVXQ is a kitten, but knowing their managers, someone is bound to come bothering them with things to sign or events to agree too. Or a camera.

Yunho shudders a little and rearranges his grip on Changmin so that he can stand.

“Why are you a cat, though?” he says, somewhat redundantly since Changmin can’t talk, as he gets to his feet. He pauses, horrified. “Did you _eat_ something?” He tries to remember what they ate last, but gets stuck on the fact that whatever it was they ate it together, and Yunho doesn’t want to even think about what would happen if both of them were kittens.

Changmin claws him a little in response, so Yunho very quickly abandons that train of thought. “Changmin,” he says pulling him away from his chest. “I kind of need that.”

Changmin looks unimpressed, so Yunho rolls his eyes.

“Not to mention you’re the one who’s obsessed with that--”

\--Changmin looks like he can’t decide if he’s proud of Yunho or horrified at Yunho, and no doubt would be blushing if he didn’t have whiskers--

“--and I’d rather not have to explain to cordi-noona why I’m covered in scratches,” Yunho finishes. “Again.” His cheeks feel a little warm.

Changmin seems to have decided on proud. He meows.

Yunho is.

Yunho is not having a break down but oh dear God that is adorable.

He sets Changmin down on the bed.

“Anyway.”

Changmin seems to have come to peace with everything and is licking himself--

“You’re a kitten.”

Changmin is licking himself _everywhere_ \--

“We don’t know why you’re a kitten.”

Yunho is a little worried about hairballs; Changmin does need to be able to sing when this is all said and done--

“But you are in fact a kitten.” Yunho is starting to feel a little like a broken record, but what can he do--his band mate is a kitten. He’s somehow started pacing around the room, but now that he’s noticed, he still can’t stop. “Why are you a kitten?” Yunho asks himself for the second time, still redundantly, but now with great panic. “Changmin-ah--” He turns towards the bed, and Changmin turns to look at him with one leg still in the air. “Why are you a kitten?”

For a moment neither of them say anything--Yunho because he’s not sure if he should pretend he meant to ask that question to a cat, and Changmin because he’s the cat in question--before Changmin gently sets his leg down. He looks visibly unimpressed. _Hyung_ , his eyes say. _Why the fuck would I know_?

Yunho swallows. “Right,” he manages, voice only rasping a little. “Right, okay.” He needs to do something concrete. “Do you need a litter box or do you think you can manage a Japanese toilet?”

Changmin doesn’t even deign that with a response.

“Right,” Yunho says again, and goes to lock himself in the bathroom to have a good long shout.

When he comes back, Changmin seems to have finished grooming himself and is sitting at the foot of the bed with his tail wrapped around his front feet and his eyes half mast. When he sees Yunho, he does something with his face that Yunho thinks would be raising an eyebrow, but since cats don’t have eyebrows--although Changmin does seem to have whisker things sprouting out of both of his little fuzzy temples--it just looks mildly disturbing.

 _Are you done?_ his eyes say.

Yunho nearly turns back around for a second round of shouting.

“Yes,” Yunho says instead. And then, quietly, “I’m talking to a cat.”

Changmin’s mouth comes open before he can stop himself-- _You’re talking to_ me _, Hyung, honestly_ , Yunho can practically hear loud and clear across the room--and he makes a near hissing noise.

Yunho spares a brief laugh for the fact that now Changmin can hiss and not have it be out of place. Or something. Something like that.

Changmin’s mouth shuts and he looks miserable again. When he catches Yunho’s eye, he meows pitifully.

Yunho’s heart gives a terrible thump, before his eyes catch on the fangift.

Changmin appears to have viciously unwrapped the thing in the iterum, and the ribbon is rather glaringly missing. Yunho grins, because the image of Shim Changmin playing with string is hilarious no matter the circumstances, and then pauses, because the fangift appears to be a rock.

Yunho blinks. “That’s odd,” he says.

A more accurate description might be a pebble, since the thing can’t be larger than Yunho’s thumbnail, but it’s still not at all what Yunho was expecting. Maybe it’s for Changmin.

Yunho glances back at Changmin for his opinion, and then reconsiders.

To his credit, Changmin realizes he’s being watched only three seconds into hacking up the hairball, and by then he’s committed and can’t do anything about the fact that Yunho is unable to look away from the entire spectacle.

“Um,” says Yunho, eyes darting to their bed sheets. “I’ll wash those later.”

Changmin flops himself down on the bed next to the hairball with a drawn out meow. Yunho reaches out and pats him on the side a few times.

Then he turns back to the pebble. “Do you know why a fan would give us a pebble?” he asks Changmin. It takes him a second to remember he has to actually look to get a response.

Changmin hasn’t moved, but he gestures over towards the card with one paw.

“Ah yeah,” says Yunho, smiling, and then, feeling brave, leans in to kiss Changmin between the ears.

Changmin yowls and swipes at him with a clawed paw, but starts purring.

Yunho giggles to himself the whole way over to the card. He picks it up, starts to read it, sits down on the bed halfway through, and then blinks a few times. Then he looks down at the pebble. Then he looks back at the card. Then he looks back at Changmin.

“Meow,” says Changmin-- _meows??_ Changmin?--and bats at Yunho’s bare thigh.

Yunho tilts the card towards him a little helplessly and picks up the pebble. Or wishing stone. Supposedly.

Changmin doesn’t seem to have lost the ability to read--which is useful--Yunho makes a note of that--because he very quickly starts pawing at Yunho’s leg again, making worried sounding chirping noises and then, when that does nothing, climbs up onto Yunho so he can get to the pebble.

Yunho tightens his fingers around it and falls back against the bed, bouncing only a little, and narrowing his eyes at Changmin.

Changmin sits down in the center of his chest and meows at him.

Yunho swallows again. “There’s no way this is a real wishing stone,” he says.

Changmin’s eyebrow whiskers lift upwards.

Yunho licks his lips. “There’s no such thing as magic?” he tries again.

Changmin stares at him unblinkingly and his ears press back.

Yunho reaches out to pet him. “If it was a wishing stone I wouldn’t have wished you were a kitten; I’d have wished you were a Bambi--?” Yunho starts to say, and then breaks off when all of a sudden he doesn’t have a kitten on his chest anymore.

“Oh my God,” says Yunho, as Changmin goes sprawling across the bed on gangly, baby deer limbs. “Changdol.”

Changmin pauses in his stumbling to stare at Yunho.

“You’re a baby deer.”

Changmin shoves him off the bed.

\--

“I don’t want to know,” says Jaewon-hyung, his hand still on the doorframe of Changmin’s bedroom. “I don’t want to know--I don’t even need this key.” He brandishes the house key that the two of them gave him ages ago like a weapon.

“Hyung!” Yunho cries, grabbing hold of Changmin and turning towards the other man. “Hyung--Changminnie!” He points at Changmin frantically. “Help!”

Jaewon-hyung’s eyes dart between Yunho and Changmin quickly, and for a second Yunho thinks he’s going to say something. He seems to think better of it. “Nope,” he says. “You have an off day so I have an off day. Tell Changmin the script’s in the kitchen.”

“But, Hyung!” Yunho shouts after him, holding onto Changmin for dear life--ha--because he trusts him, but he also doesn’t trust him, and Jaewon-hyung has to open the door to leave. “Hyung--wait--!”

The door slams behind Jaewon-hyung with a bang.

\--

“Yunho-yah,” says Heechul-hyung, over enunciating into the phone. “Why are you whispering?”

“ _Because I don’t know how good his hearing is--do deers have good hearing_?” Yunho hisses, more than a little panicked. He’s not proud of it, but he’s maybe crawled up on top of Changmin’s desk like the coward he is at heart.

Changmin’s given up on trying to climb up after him--he’d tried for far longer than Yunho would have thought, what with him having hooves and bad balance--and has settled for systematically investigating the room in search of anything belonging to Yunho.

Or at least Yunho thinks that’s what’s he’s doing. The more accurate description might be foraging, but Yunho thinks if he says that out loud, Changmin might actually never forgive him.

“Deer,” corrects Heechul-hyung, amused.

“ _Whateve_ r,” whispers Yunho.

Changmin finds a pair of Yunho’s socks, meets Yunho’s eyes with all the anger he can muster, and proceeds to rip them to shreds with his teeth.

Yunho stares down back at him with mild horror. “Heechul-hyung,” he says. “Aren’t deer omnivores?” They are--their teeth are supposed to be _flat_.

Changmin lets the socks drop to the ground in tattered pieces without blinking.

“Do deer have to blink?” Yunho continues, curling his bare feet closer to himself in case Changmin decides to come for them as well.

“What are you even saying?” says Heechul-hyung.

“I’m too young to die by deer, Hyung,” says Yunho.

“Yeah okay,” says Heechul-hyung, and then there’s a dial tone.

Yunho holds his cellphone next to his ear for a far longer than he would like, but he’s too afraid to look away from Changmin’s eyes.

The pebble is still sitting in the middle of Changmin’s bed where Yunho left it.

Yunho eyes it warily. “Changmin,” he says.

Changmin makes an odd bleating noise and throws his head up in response. Yunho has to admit he’s adorable, all light golden brown with large white spots down his back and with the cutest, fluffy tail. He really does look remarkably like Bambi, now that Yunho thinks about it. Which--

He and Changmin both seem to realize that the other Bambi in the room is within Changmin’s dangerous deer teeth at the same time; Changmin takes one step towards the bed and Yunho makes an embarrassing squeaking noise, grips the phone tighter, and throws himself off the desk. He spares a brief thanks for the dancing thing when he lands decently, and then stumbles his way towards the stuffed deer.

Of course the injury makes itself known right about then, and Yunho ends up sprawled across the bed wincing as the adrenaline wears off. So much for maybe not having to be on crutches for the rest of this week.

“Ow,” Yunho says, because he’s not that proud, and glances down at his leg.

Changmin makes his way over to him and shoves his entire head into Yunho’s side, both in reprimand and in comfort, and makes a half-angry, half-worried sounding noise.

Yunho reaches down, pets the baby-soft fur of Changmin’s head, and sighs.

“That was a mistake,” he says. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Changmin shoves his head even harder into Yunho’s stomach in agreement. _Idiot_ , his entire body screams.

Yunho feels his lips quirk. “Sorry.”

Changmin nips him gently on the hip, a barely there touch that makes Yunho startle and giggle and sprawl more comfortably against the mattress.

Changmin’s still not able to really get on the bed with him, but he’s doing the best that he can.

For a moment, they stay like that. Then reality sinks back in.

Yunho’s laughter dissolves, and he reaches for the pebble. “Okay so if this is a wishing stone,” he starts to say, and Changmin’s head comes back up.

He meets Yunho’s gaze expectantly.

“Then I should just wish you were back to normal?” Yunho tries, tightening his fingers around the pebble and reaching down to touch Changmin on the nose. “Or not a deer?” he continues, which was probably a mistake, if the way Changmin claws him with his newfound kitten claws is anything to go by.

At the very least, Yunho thinks he doesn’t have to look up what sort of noises deer make.

\--

“He’s a cat again,” Yunho tells Heechul-hyung miserably.

Changmin has settled down a little on Yunho’s chest, but he’s been staring at Yunho’s injured leg for the entire time it took for Yunho to get his phone out from under his hip and open enough to continue calling for help.

Yunho’s taken to wiggling his toes every few seconds, just to make sure he still can, and to watch Changmin’s tail lash back and forth with the energy it takes not to pounce of them.

“Really?” says Heechul-hyung, voice sounding tinny across the phone. “Yah--Kyuhyun-ah!”

Changmin’s ears perk up instantly and his claws come out, which has Yunho wincing and shifting the phone away from his ear.

“Hyung,” he tries to say, but gets drowned out by the commotion of the Super Junior dorm.

“Chwang’s a cat?” says Kyuhyun’s voice, sounding positively gleeful. “Really?”

“Yundol got a wishing stone as a fangift,” Heechul-hyung explains, like this is some run of the mill normal situation. “He was a deer earlier.”

“A deer--Chwang you were Bambi?” crows Kyuhyun, louder now, and directly into Yunho’s ear.

Yunho pulls the phone farther from his ear with a wince. “Kyuhyun-ah,” he tries to say.

“Wait, wait, wait,” interrupts Kyuhyun. “A cat you said?”

Yunho has to reach down and pick Changmin up before he loses a nipple. “I--”

And then Kyuhyun starts singing Changmin’s solo from _Hug_ , and Yunho decides the phone isn’t as important as not losing an eye.

\--

Three frantic minutes later and Yunho has successfully managed to figure out that if he pets Changmin’s butt _just so_ his boyfriend-turned-cat can’t help but sprawl across his chest and purr like a rocket. He keeps one hand on that spot, heart pounding, as he waits for Kyuhyun and Heechul-hyung to stop laughing long enough to go get Teukie-hyung. Because obviously the two of them are no help at all.

“Meow,” says Changmin, sounding sad despite all the purring and sprawling, and Yunho’s heart thumps.

“Hyung,” he whines into the phone. “I can’t turn him back.”

Part of him is actually worried, because what if the stone is broken--or what if there’s a limit on the number of wishes. Yunho is trying not to think about it, but usually it’s like three wishes, and he’s already used those three up, which is more than a little terrifying. Yunho loves Changmin unconditionally and would smuggle him back into Korea without thinking, but he’d actually like to have a career and a boyfriend sometime in the future. Instead of a kitten.

“Yah, Yunrobong it’ll be fine,” says Heechul-hyung, once he manages to stop laughing. “Just think about his dick or something--”

“ _Hyung_!” Yunho says, cheeks suddenly flaming.

“--because I know you’re into kinky shit, dongsaeng, but that’s way too far--”

“ _Hyung_!” Changmin meow-says, because Yunho doesn’t have to know him to know that’s exactly what he means.

That seems to set Heechul-hyung off even more, and Yunho can hear Kyuhyun in the back cackling about how _adorable_ Changmin sounds.

Yunho makes an executive decision and hangs up the phone.

“Meow,” says Changmin, pleased.

Yunho raises his thumb up in his general direction and drapes an arm across his eyes.

\--

“Okay you can’t stay a cat,” Yunho decides, once he’s actually gotten up, showered, and put on decent clothes. He’d debated taking Changmin with him, but one look at Changmin’s claws, and Changmin’s unimpressed face, and he’d decided to leave Changmin alone to deal with cleaning. If he wanted to lick himself clean and hack up more hairballs--fair play to him.

Changmin lifts his head up from where he’d fluffed up on Yunho’s pillow and cracks open one eye.

Yunho gives his hair one last dry before letting the towel drop onto the floor. “So I’m going to take this pebble.” He grabs the pebble from where he left it on Changmin’s desk. “And we’re going to sit here and fix this.”

Changmin keep staring at Yunho with dead eyes.

Yunho remembers that cats have crazy peripheral vision or something, and very quickly bends down to pick up the towel.

He smiles a little awkwardly, heart warm. “Anyway.” He sets the towel down on Changmin’s desk, which in the grand scheme of things isn’t that great--he should really go hang it on the towel rack--but given that Changmin really can’t nag him at present, Yunho thinks he can get away with it.

Changmin continues to stare at him with dead eyes.

Yunho isn’t sweating at all. His forehead’s just damp from the shower. “We’re going to fix this,” he says. “In one try.”

Changmin looks unimpressed, but he leans in to touch his head to Yunho’s hand anyway.

Yunho tightens his fingers around the pebble, pets Changmin’s forehead, and closes his eyes. Mostly for show, but also in hopes that this will work.

Nothing happens.

“Meow,” complains Changmin.

Yunho has to work very hard _not_ to laugh. “Okay now,” he says, and this time he means it.

Or....not really.

“This time,” he tells Changmin, and then, when Changmin tries to bite him, “no I promise. Look. I’ll even think about your abs or something, cause animals don’t have abs, accept for turtles, which, ha, imagine if you were a turtle.” He’s kidding, mostly, but also, not really, but then Changmin is actually a turtle.

Yunho thinks, _wow, this pebble sure is attuned to my every thought_ but then gets distracted by how very green Changmin is. All mottled and slightly reflective and definitely worthy of the second half of his name.

“Aw, Changmin,” he says, because what an opportunity, “[You really are](http://blog-imgs-24.fc2.com/m/i/i/miikorin/02170814328_60800010.jpg) [a stone resembling jade](http://hanjadic.bravender.net/%E7%8F%89).”

Changmin tries to take Yunho’s fingers off with his non existent turtle teeth.

\--

Yunho is dying.

He’d had to leave the room more than a few times, but once he got himself back together he ended up venturing back in a few times to make sure Changmin hadn’t died. Changmin hadn’t died any of those first three times. Of course, Changmin also hadn’t managed to cover more than about three centimeters in the past five minutes, so Yunho’s been in and out of the room at least six more times to go laugh himself silly.

He almost wants to take a picture, because Changmin is actually quite adorable, but he doesn’t think that would go over well with said adorable Changmin.

Who is a turtle.

Yunho stifles another bout of giggles into the palm of his hand.

 _Hyung_ , he texts Heechul-hyung, since calling is out of the question right now. _Changminnie is a TURTLE_.

There are a whole assortment of jokes that could be made at this point, mostly about Changmin’s abs, which Yunho realizes are to blame for this entire situation to begin with.

Yunho watches the number beside his messages blip away, and then continues, _I think he’s trying to kill me but he’s_ \--

Yunho breaks off, giggles some more, and sticks his head back into the room briefly.

Changmin seems frozen on the floor where Yunho had left him when he’d realized that holding Changmin the turtle wasn’t doing anything to stop him from dying of laughter.

 _He’s so slow!_ Yunho types, and then turns back to Changmin

He’s a much smaller turtle than Yunho was expecting, but Yunho’s only really had experience with Jongwoon-hyung’s turtles, and Changmin has a much prettier jaw than they do. Of course Changmin won’t end up in an aquarium bearing the name, ‘Changmin, a turtle that once belonged to TVXQ’s Changmin,’ so Yunho isn’t sure who actually has the short end of the stick.

He gives himself one last shake and turns all the way around.

Changmin looks about two more centimeters closer to him.

Yunho feels another giggle bubbling up in his throat.

Changmin opens his mouth very wide.

Yunho turns back around to face their living room. “Oh my God,” he says once he’s managed to stop laughing. “Oh my God.”

He can practically hear Changmin’s voice in his head going off at him, which by all means should make him worry, but in reality is doing nothing to help Yunho with his giggling.

Probably Changmin is wishing every kind of death, doom, and destruction onto Yunho and then some.

“Changdol,” Yunho calls, voice cracking quite a lot. “I’m coming back into the room, now.” He pauses, in case all parts of Changmin are slow including his ears--he’ll have to ask him when he’s human again, and then goes on. “Please don’t eat me; we’re going to try that again.”

At first he thinks Changmin hasn’t really moved, but as Yunho passes him he realizes he has come slightly a few more centimeters further. He doesn’t laugh, but it’s a near thing.

When he turns back around Changmin has retreated into his shell.

Yunho nearly bites through his tongue.

He manages to get it together long enough to retrieve Changmin, who emerges from his shell with what Yunho thinks is an angry, turtle squawk, picks up the pebble, settles Changmin in the middle of the bed, and stares at him.

“Changdol-ah,” Yunho says seriously. “Please do not try to bite my hand off.”

Changmin doesn’t narrow his eyes, because Yunho’s not sure if he even has eyelids, but the glare he levels at Yunho could kill a man. Hell, Yunho’s been on the receiving end of that glare more than a couple dance rehearsals, and it makes the burn of exhaustion pale in comparison.

He swallows. “Please,” he repeats. “Do not bite.”

If Changmin could, he’d be rolling his eyes.

Yunho sets his hand on Changmin’s head and grips the pebble hard.

For a second it works--

Changmin rematerializes in human form, hair sticking out at odd angles, eyes wide and wild, and cursing to make Yunho’s toes curl--

\--and then Yunho’s phone rings, and it’s Heechul-hyung, whose ringtone is still set to ‘Honey Funny Bunny.’

“ _Yunho-hyung I am going to fucking kill you_ \--!” roars Changmin, in the split second it takes for Yunho’s brain to take in the chorus of the song.

“Shit, fuck, goddammit,” says Yunho, staring down at the rabbit that is now Changmin.

Changmin jump kicks him in the balls.

\--

So rabbits... are very loud.

Yunho knew this in an offhand sort of way, because at some point in his undergraduate career someone taught him that they have very loud death calls, but he’d very wisely forgotten until this very moment.

He’s locked Changmin in the bathroom, not because he doesn’t want to see him or anything, but mostly because the bathroom had the least amount of his things inside it, and the floors would be more readily cleaned.

The fact that the bathroom has a door is only a plus, since Changmin’s basically been shrieking for the past five minutes.

“Yah--Changmin-ah!” Yunho calls, and for a moment, the wailing stops.

And then it comes back in full force, louder, even, and Yunho goes back to attempting to smother himself with his pillow.

Getting Changmin into the bathroom had been the hard part, since Changmin had apparently discovered his lungs in the moment it took Yunho to stop groaning over the jump kick and grab him. He’d also squirmed a lot, packed quite a kick, and was so fucking cute that Yunho was seriously worried about himself because not even the fuzziest and fluffiest of rabbit tails should have been enough to get over the fact that Changmin’s front teeth were now probably vampiric.

Regardless, Yunho had emerged victorious, slamming the door on the rabbit love of his life and retreating to Changmin’s bedroom to attempt to drown out the dying noises.

He heaves a long sigh. “Changmin-ah!” he tries again, and Changmin quiets down again. “Can you stop shrieking long enough to let me try to fix this?”

Changmin seems to consider that, so Yunho risks taking the pillow off.

When Changmin does nothing else, he picks up the pillow and heads over to the bathroom door.

After a few moments, he pulls it open a crack, sticks a foot in, and manages to slide his entire body into the room.

Changmin has settled himself into the center of their bathtub for his wailing, and he looks up when Yunho comes in. He doesn’t look inclined to kick or hop away, so Yunho takes a few steps closer. He’s adorable, but Yunho isn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or a gift rabbit, in this case.

Changmin’s nose can’t seem to stop twitching which is doing nothing to help the situation, and only one of his ears has unfurled, but Yunho is mostly distracted by how cuddly he looks.

 _Hyung_ , say Changmin’s eyes. _Say it and die._

Yunho swallows the entire sentence. “We shouldn’t do this in here,” he decides, bending down to pick Changmin up in one move, shifting him around in his arms so that he’s balanced, and then turning on his heel to head back out into the bathroom.

He’d left the pebble on the desk to go collect Changmin, so he makes his way back towards it.

Changmin’s fur is extra soft. His heart is also pounding, probably from all the shrieking, and Yunho feels a twinge of guilt. The entire situation is basically his fault.

“I promise I’m going to fix this,” he tells Changmin, reaching for the pebble. “Even though you’re the cutest bunny I have ever seen.” Changmin _is_ the cutest bunny Yunho has ever seen, baby soft, pudgey in places, with a little white diamond on his chest and everything. Yunho almost wishes he was a rabbit, because the nose twitching is cute, but probably would be annoying.

In hindsight, that was probably a train of thought he should have halted immediately.

As it stands, Yunho has only a moment of panic when his fingers touch the pebble, before the entire world is suddenly much larger, they’re both on the floor, and Changmin’s wailing sounds like actually words.

“--and then I’m going to take a shit on everything you love and hold dear,” Changmin is in the middle of saying when Yunho manages to get his brain to start functioning again.

Yunho’s head feels heavy all of a sudden, so his head tilts to the side. Something large, black, and fluffy falls into his line of vision and he pauses, brain wiring. Another head tilt and another thing plops down over his eyes. They’re his ears, he realizes.

“--and then I’m going to find that damn pebble and throw it into a fucking _volcano_ ,” finishes Changmin, vehement and frightening.

Yunho flops both of his ears out of his eyes. “Changdol,” he says, turning. “I can understand you.”

Changmin’s little rabbit mouth snaps shut.

Yunho turns to face him more fully. His nose is itchy; he twitches it.

Changmin twitches his nose right back.

For a moment they just stare at each other.

Finally, Changmin seems to regroup. “Yunho-hyung,” he says politely. “You’re a rabbit.”

Yunho lifts a leg and scratches at an itch on his shoulder, and then thumps his leg down on the ground a few times. When he turns to look, he gets distracted by the cotton ball that is his tail. “Shit,” he agrees. “I am.”

\--

“I don’t want to know,” says Jaewon-hyung, halfway into their apartment. From his space on top of Changmin, Yunho twitches his nose frantically at him. Neither of them have been able to reach the pebble, which is more than a little worrying given they really can’t stay as rabbits, but Jaewon-hyung is a human and he can help.

“Hyung!” says Changmin, shifting under Yunho’s weight. “Jaewon-hyung--help!”

“Don’t want to know,” repeats Jaewon-hyung, backing out of the apartment. “You have the day off--I don’t know _either of you_!”

Yunho face plants off of Changmin’s shoulders in his struggle to go after him.

“Fuck,” Changmin says.

\--

They get it eventually--Changmin ends up throwing Yunho at desk from the bed a few times with increasingly creative and terrible threats, and after the first two throws Yunho manages to land on all four feet. Changmin’d had to sweet-talk him down off the desk--who knew that that fight or flight instinct in rabbits somehow translated into NOT MOVING AT ALL SO NO ONE SEES ME--but they’d succeeded.

The only problem now is getting the damn thing to work.

They’ve tried everything--sticking it between their paws, putting it in their mouths--and not swallowing “ _Oh my God Changmin-ah if you swallow it I swear to God I’ll_ \--” “You’ll _what_ \--You’ll wish I was a _turtle you asshole_ \--!”--and finally have settled for lying halfway on top of it and halfway on top of each other.

Yunho is blaming it on the rabbit thing, but he’s suddenly exhausted. Maybe rabbits sleep more than humans.

Changmin seems a little worn out as well, but he’s still muttering under his breath in ways that make Yunho smile and shiver both, so he settles his head right between Changmin’s giant ears and sighs.

“Changmin,” he says. “I’m tired.”

“You’re tired,” says Changmin. “Try walking across the floor at the speed of fucking molasses--” but he leans back into Yunho’s touch anyway. After a few moments, he starts grooming whatever bit of Yunho’s fur he can reach.

Yunho feels his eyes flutter shut and tension he didn’t know exist filter out of him. “Mmm,” he says. “That’s nice.”

Changmin rolls his eyes, a gesture that looks weird on a rabbits face, but moves around so that he groom more of Yunho. “Sap,” he says.

Yunho swallows a yawn. “Love you,” he agrees.

Changmin doesn’t flush--that’s one bad thing about him being rabbit--and his nose twitches nervously. “Love you too,” he says quietly.

Yunho feels warmth bloom in his chest and he snuggles closer.  

“We can’t stay rabbits forever, though,” says Changmin, once he’s finished cleaning behind Yunho’s ears. “We have rehearsal soon.” He yawns.

Yunho presses into his side. “Mmm,” he agrees.

Changmin yawns once more. “I deserve a nap,” he decides finally. “I’ve been like half a zoo.”

“Not really,” points out Yunho.

Changmin drapes a paw across his face. “Whatever,” he says.

“But continue.”

“Napping,” says Changmin. “I’m going to take a nap.”

Yunho thinks that’s a good idea. He says as much.

“Good,” says Changmin. “But if we’re not fixed by the time we wake up I will actually disown you.”

Yunho closes his eyes.

“You think I’m kidding,” says Changmin. “But I will actually do it.”

Yunho nods.

“I mean it--I’ll find someone to raise me and live out the rest of my days as an overfed pet rabbit,” says Changmin.

“Changdol-ah,” says Yunho. “Go to sleep.”

“Disown you,” yawns Changmin, but does.

\--

Yunho wakes up first. He spares a brief moment of relief since not only is he a person again, but he appears to have all of his limbs and is still ashy blonde, and judging by the loss of feeling in his left arm, Changmin is human again as well.

The pebble is stabbing into his lower back, so he fishes it out and just stares at it, and then wakes the fuck up and flings it away from him. It hits the wall with a very gentle ping, and Changmin stirs.

“Mmmm,” he groans. “Was that the wishing stone?”

Yunho runs his fingers through his curls a few times and nods. “Yep.”

Changmin presses the tiniest of kisses to Yunho’s chest in response. “Don’t destroy it--I need it for my revenge.”

Yunho pets him a few more times, weighing his options. Then he gets up, grabs the pebble, and heads towards the toilet. Halfway there, he changes his mind, and heads towards his bedroom. It’s not hard to find an old jewelry box, stuff the pebble inside, and then shove it into the darkest, dirtiest corner of his closet where Changmin won't dare to ever look. This is probably safer--who knows what kind of mischief the pebble could get up to in the ocean. Assuming it wasn’t crushed into dust by the toilet. Which would be even worse, since God knows they don’t need a magical wishing toilet.

He flushes the toilet anyway, to throw Changmin off the scent.

When he wanders back into the room, Changmin has rolled onto his back in the center of the bed. He’s as naked as he was this morning, hair mussed and curling around his ears, and his eyes are at half mast.

They’re not the only thing.

Yunho swallows. “Hi,” he says.

Changmin inclines his head. “Destroyed it?” he says.

Yunho nods.

“Pity.” One of Changmin’s hands snakes down his torso.

Yunho thinks he’s had enough of animal metaphors for today. “Yeah,” he agrees, watching the way Changmin’s fingers curl around the base of his cock.

“You’ll have to make it up to me,” Changmin decides, letting go of his dick and lifting two fingers to beckon at Yunho.

Yunho’s throat is all of a sudden dry. “Um,” he says.

“Hyung.” Changmin’s eyes flash dangerously. “You turned me into a kitten.”

Yunho gives himself a shake and sets his knees down onto the bed. “Right,” he says.

“And a deer,” continues Changmin. “And then a turtle.” His lips twist. “But I have to admit that I as an adorable rabbit,” he admits.

“I think I was cuter,” protests Yunho, but Changmin reaches out and grabs him by the wrist so that he can tug him down on top. “Oof,” says Yunho.

“That’s true,” says Changmin, letting his legs fall apart so Yunho can rest between them. He hooks one of his feet behind Yunho’s calf and lifts his hips ever so slightly.

Yunho’s thoughts go scattered across the room and he curses whoever decided to name that part of the human body after a baby cow.

“But back to the turtle thing.” Changmin’s fingers have found their way to Yunho’s hips, and he presses down gently.

“Hmm?” says Yunho, blood rushing south and leaving his brain breathless.

“Since I can’t wish you were a turtle.” Changmin tightens his grip on Yunho’s hips and rolls them over in one practiced move. “I’m going to have to make do.”

Yunho flops his head back against their duvet, dizzy. “Changmin.”

Changmin settles back on his haunches and lifts a bottle of lube into Yunho’s view. He slicks up two fingers. “Yes, Hyung?”

Yunho swallows, eyes caught on those glistening fingers as Changmin reaches down between them. “Oh God,” says Yunho. “Please.”

Changmin redirects instantly. “Nope,” he says. “Not today.”

“Changdol-ah,” whines Yunho, watching as Changmin sinks both of those fingers into himself.

“Today we go slow,” interrupts Changmin, head thrown back. “Very slow.” He shifts on his hand, eyelashes fluttering, and then peeks one eye open at Yunho.

Yunho feels helpless, caught in Changmin’s web like some sort of insect, and what the fuck is wrong with his brain and all the animal comparisons. He really needs to work on that. Not now of course. Now he’d just like to make Changmin go faster.

Changmin’s stopped moving, and he only starts up again when Yunho makes a desperate little noise.

“Changmin.”

“Slow,” says Changmin, but he’s up to three fingers now so Yunho thinks that’s just not _fair_.

“Changmin,” he whines.

“Like a turtle,” says Changmin, and sinks down on Yunho’s cock. “In case that wasn’t clear.”

“Changmin- _ah!_ ” Yunho tries to say, but gets lost in the roll of Changmin’s hips.

He fucks up off the bed, hands twisting in the bed sheets because he’s knows that touching is definitely off the table, but as soon as Yunho reaches any sort of rhythm, Changmin clenches down and slows them to a halt.

“Slow,” he says, but there’s a blush across his cheeks that suggests he could be convinced to change his mind. “Revenge.”

Yunho throws his head back with a groan. “God, I love you,” he says.

“I love you too,” says Changmin. “But you can call me Changmin--” He breaks off with a hiss when Yunho breaks the nonverbal no touching rule and snaps his hips up.

“You were saying?” says Yunho.

“Faster,” says Changmin, breathless.

“I thought this was revenge,” Yunho starts.

“Jung Yunho,” says Changmin. “I have been spent hours of my life wanting to nothing but lie in the sun and lick my balls.”

“Lovely image,” interrupts Yunho, hips rocking up. “You should try poetry.”

Changmin growls under his breath and slaps both of his hands down on Yunho’s chest. “Hyung,” he hisses.

“Right, right,” says Yunho, fucking up a few blissful times. But then, he stops.

Changmin’s eyes snap open and he opens his mouth.

“Changmin,” Yunho interrupts, and pointedly lets go of Changmin’s hips.

For a moment, he worries he’s made a mistake, but then Changmin’s eyes glint. “Yunho-hyung,” he replies.

“Revenge,” says Yunho, and settles in for the night.

After all. They have the whole day off.

\--

end.

\--

_Bonus:_

_Changmin is going to kill Yunho._

_Never mind that the needs him, he can just get a new partner, or no, he can just retire to the wilds of wherever and plant strawberries in Yunho’s name. Never mind that he’s like the size of a house cat, a comparison that Changmin makes with only a little bit of hilarious panic. Never mind that he loves him--HE CAN JUST FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO LOVE._

_Never mind_ any of it _. Changmin is going to kill Yunho._

_Eventually._

_Like._

_In two minutes._

_Or three._

_Whenever he reaches Yunho._

_..._

_...._

_..._

_Maybe five._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](http://zimriya.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/zimriya)! 
> 
> [Tumblr masterpost](http://zimriya.tumblr.com/post/157812790370/tvxq-fic) || [Twitter masterpost](https://twitter.com/zimriya/status/885533536471658496).


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